GETTING OLD...FEELING BLUE

FACEBOOK IPO...A QUESTION...

2012-02-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

With the Facebook IPO imminent, we have become the product being sold to the purveyors of advertising but not to be here is not to be a part of and involved in social networking and not to be a part of social networking is not to be a part of C21st. Add to that the networks used by the internet, the media of fulfilment, are largely taxpayer funded, does one not think it reasonable that each of us gets a royalty every time we look at an advertisement on the internet?

Gray Dourman

http://www.magichelix.com/contact.htm

AMERICA ON DRUGS.....

2012-01-27T02:06:00.000-08:00

A recent finding reported on NBC News that the use of anti-depressants has increased by 400% in the past three years was more than alarming. It is estimated that 1 in 10 American adults are taking mood altering medication. There are proposals that grief be treated as a disorder and treated with drugs. And they believe they are the beacon of democratic society.

Something has gone wrong. The aspiration for a perfect life is embodied in the opening credits for the Real Beverly Hills Housewives with the statement... 'Most people think I've got it all...but I want more.'

I like the Real Beverly Hills Housewives. I can imagine being a neighbour and watching my over the top neighbours through my twitching curtains. I do not live in the United States but I like watching American News and Lifestyle. Now that guilty pleasure is actually disturbing me. Perhaps I need medication.

Gray Dourman

http://www.magichelix.com/

SCOTTISH NATIONALISTS AND EUROSCEPTICS ARE BLOODBROTHERS...

2012-01-25T01:40:00.000-08:00

The idea of an independent Scotland is no different than the idea that the UK is not a natural and beneficial member of the European Union. Both ideas are misguided and mistaken. Greater integration of commerce, politics and citizenship is desirable. It is the objective of gobalisation and the integration of humanity into a single, co-operating community. There is nothing wrong with promoting cultural identity and uniqueness. Scots can play all the bagpipes and eat all haggis they want. English Eurosceptics can love Tony Hancock and drink all the tea they desire. Yet should they want to withdraw from integrated markets, they in their corrupt nostalgic ideology, are returning to the ideas of protectionism and narrow pursuit of national interests that spawned the most destructive cataclysims of the C20th, the world wars. When times were good we talked of a world economy that delivered prosperity on a fair and moral platform, of integration and shared wealth. Let us not return to the evils of segregation, nationalism and isolation. Say no to a return to the fractured state of little Britain, little Scotland, little......

Thank You
Gray Dourman

http://www.magichelix.com/

OLD ROCKERS ARE UNDIGNIFIED...

2012-01-24T05:25:00.000-08:00

I saw Steven Tyler, the mouth from Areosmith sing the Star Spangled Banner at Sunday's NFL Championship game and I cringed. I physically cringed. Surgically enhanced, professionally styled, a sort of rock version of the Real Hollywood Housewives (highly recommended reality television), Tyler looked and sounded positively dreadful. In his prime, he could rock, no doubt about it. Nobody begrudges his long hair, although it appears to be totally fake. He is a man of common sense and fair reason. He has fathered an adequate actress, Liv. But I am a senior citizen. My whole cultural context emerged from rock. It has been the soundtrack of my life. I still listen to it, old and new. So why did I react so viscerally?

There are aspects in our psychology as individuals that we are unaware of, yet which dictate our idea of ourselves. Growing old disgracefully a catchy, whimsical idea when some cinema idol expresses the notion, in reality is something of an embarrassment. It indicates that in truth we haven't grown at all. If what excites in our dotage, is what excited us in our youth, we either didn't get enough of it, or didn't learn from it. Tyler's absurd, rock scream at the end of the national anthem was more a cry for help than of defiance.

Best
Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

THEY FORGAVE NEWT, BECAUSE HE CLAIMS GOD HAS...

2012-01-23T04:41:00.000-08:00

The idea that a constituency with the democratic traditions of Republicans in South Carolina would actually vote for a man with a history of low moral and ethical choices as they have with Newt Gingrich just because he has asked for the forgiveness of God, is evidence that mature democracies display the same moral decay as all other forms of government. No one, least of me, would begrudge any man a pardon from a higher authority for past sins, but to put that man in a position determine the well being of a wide and vulnerable society surely calls into question the collective sanity of the Palmetto State Republicans. Mitt Romney ain't no angel and certainly has stains on his own ethics and sense of fairness and there is absolutely no evidence that he believes in a collective and cohesive society, unless of course it offers opportunities for financial exploitation and as for that lunatic creationist Santorum, well. And therein lies the dilemma as I see it. What has happened to the United States of America? Has greed and righteous arrogance destroyed the very thing many of us admired about the country, the freedom to believe as one believes, within the context of a society that has the capacity to act upon and reflect the wishes of the widest possible constituency. Today I despair of what America has become and would welcome the emergence of a new moral leadership.

Regards

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

OUT HERE IN THE WILDERNESS

2012-01-16T05:19:00.000-08:00

Completing Hunter S. Thompson's biography was almost as sad as the his ending. It was a wonderful illustration of the futility of aspiration. Success in whatever form is empty. If one is compelled to do something, whatever it may be, from writing to watching TV, that is what must be done, for it is in the action of doing that the magic and joy of life emerges.

For they say unto you, compromise or whither away. I say you whither away, anyway so do, not say.

http://www.magichelix.com/core/sequence/diogenes.htm

WHERE TO FROM HERE

2012-01-01T07:34:00.000-08:00

The dawn of 2012 in London was grim and grey. Inside, warm, comfortable, the good books about my bed, the gentle breathing of my lovely wife next to me, the snoring of my teenage son in the room next door, all remind me that amidst dry reality is the comfort of hope. Just the idea that the new year may bring reward for past labour, recognition for past endeavour, a greater understanding of the whys and wherefores of personal and geopolitical history as it plays out on the streets, in the media, in parliament, in my home, is enough comfort my soul and quiet the anxious voices that scream 'THE END IS NIGH!' down the phone. So here's wishing you all...a happy new year!

OCCUPY CHRISTMAS AND THEN GET OUT...

2011-12-23T13:15:00.000-08:00

What a year! Eurogedon and U.S. troops out of Iraq. If that wasn't enough...well it was thanks...the discovery of a particle that travelled faster than the speed of light...maybe...the possibility that the Higgs Boson could actually be there...but neither is definitive yet. I'm out here...the kids grown up...the wife well..the wife. I'm past hope...but I keep hoping...what else is there to do?

Merry Christmas
Gray

THE END FOR CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS

2011-12-16T02:00:00.000-08:00

Just as a day of worthy labour brings peaceful sleep so a life well lived brings welcome death...Da Vinci..

MARKETS MAKE MISTAKES

2011-12-15T04:36:00.000-08:00

There was a gloating equity trader in London who expressed his delight that the latest set of employment stats showed a dramatic rise in the number of self employed. What he didn't realise is that self employed people do not in the main save for their future, nor do they pay taxes at the same rates, nor do they create more employment as effectively as employees of large and medium, well organised and effective businesses. Mexico and Brasil and Nigeria all have a very high percentage of self employed. They are characteristic of underdeveloped, unsophisticated economies with large underclasses of disadvantaged people. "The Markets" which are exacerbating sovereign and corporate debt problems by setting too stringent criteria for lending would be delighted with such an outcome as the rich can protect themselves with the force of the state and private collusion. It is time to share the pain. The state and corporate communities must come to understand that egalitarianism creates a more civilised environment in which to enjoy the benefits of prosperity.

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

NATION STATES ARE CORRUPT

2011-12-14T01:56:00.000-08:00

Nations states are as corrupt as collaborative alliances. Corruption and fudging the rules is part and parcel of politics so we just have to challenge when we can and live with it when we can't. So here is the way I see the emergence of collective human politics and the extinction of the nation state.

I hate to say it, but I have to agree with Sarkozy, the fraud and greed which caused this economic crisis was not overregulation but under-regulation and regulation constrained by national borders. Had Greece been audited by functioning Euro bureaucracy it never would have got into the Euro in the first place. It was audited and it balance sheets submitted by a London/NewYork alliance of private interest in the name of Goldman Sachs and KPMG supported by Moodys the very institutions our Mr. Cameron is seeking to protect. Doesn't he smell just as bad as lying Eurocrats.

1. Globalisation and the interconnection of economies and communications stimulates homogenisation of rules and transactions. Look at how tax avoidance regimes have been identified and pressured over the past two years. Within a decade tax avoidance facilitated by national borders with have all but eliminated.

2. At the same time, while macro economy societies emerge diversified micro social societies emerge through communications and specific groupings of interests supported by social networking facilitated through technology.

The outcome: more economic union and more cultural diversity.

We were warned at the beginning of this decade that globalisation would have a price, but it would be a price worth paying. I am hurting hard through this mess but I believe the hurt will sort itself and the world will emerge more unified and better off as per the distribution of wealth and the quality of life and more diversified where language, music, art and independence of thought are encouraged. After that we can get on with understanding and putting the Higgs Boson to work.

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

THE JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS BLUES...

2011-12-13T04:59:00.000-08:00

Waiting for Santa...wanting nothing...no future...no past...even life doesn't last...all fits and starts...hot sand...arranging the parts for every member of the band...and yet the angels wait...atop the trees...in the alcoves...will I be home in time...will those left behind still be mine...

Happy Holidays..
Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

DAVID CAMERON PUSHES US CLOSE TO EUROGEDON

2011-12-09T04:58:00.001-08:00

Our Prime Minister has caved in to backbenchers and those nostalgic Britons who long
to be a great power again and don't mind getting there by driving working people into poverty. William Hague displays his own
particular delirium by suggesting that we can replace Europe as an export market by competing in places like Latin America. Yeah
right, lets compete with the working conditions and human rights of China and Korea while we're at it. It is an illusion to think
that we can compete with other economies without reducing our living standards and the people it will hurt most are those who do not
have the deep pockets of the 'Upper Middle Class'. Sure David Cameron had the balls to stand up for Financial Services...but I don't
think Financial Services has covered itself with glory...or deserves to be stood up for...and if you want to really know what's up in
Financial Services...watch Charles Ferguson's Academy Award winning 'Inside Job' on your BBC Storyville...you've got 5 days left.

In the mean time enjoy the illusion that David is really Winston Churchill and WWII was our finest hour. The sooner we understand
that we are Europeans...the better...

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

HISTORIC FICTION...HUMAN FACT

2011-12-07T05:45:00.001-08:00

Historical fiction can informative, educational and often entertaining but although the core human characteristics have remained largely unchanged over the evolution of mankind and literature, the social context within which those characteristics are expressed has changed dramatically. Readers tell me they read historical fiction in order to be transported to another time and another place among other motivations such as wanting to escape their current time and place. The trick to a really successful historical novel is to create the past but to lace it with contemporary meaning. Murder has been with us from the beginning but the social reaction to murder has transformed from culture to culture, from generation to generation. To create a dialogue with the reader focussing on the varied reactions of individuals and cultures to murder in the 18th Century and by implication contrasting with murder in his or her current context, is not only challenging for the author but also rewarding when the alchemy is right and the trick succeeds.

http://www.amazon.com/A-CASE-IN-POINT-ebook/dp/B006BYDLYG/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1322056364&sr=1-5

OCCUPY LITTLE BRITAIN....THE RISE OF THE RIGHT

2011-12-02T04:11:00.001-08:00

The smugness and arrogance of privilege as expressed by the likes of Cameron, Osborne and Clarkson, not to mention Murdoch, Hague, Duncan-Smith and Green when sympathy and excuses are muttered over the fall of fat cats like Fox who fed his friends from the coffers of the land, the same 'Little Britons' who spread the scurrilous idea that we face economic crisis because working people in Britain want too much and don't work hard enough, is a blight on democracy. The collective delusion that austerity ever fixed anything is ridiculous. Show me that hunter gatherers survived when they stopped hunting and hunkered down in their caves to save energy in the vain hope that available game would wander by when the weather got better. Anthropology shows that the successful strategy is some hunkering and some seeking. The conservative ideology is wedded to austerity because they know their pockets are deeper than those of working people and they can starve those workers back into slavery. Working people tossed monarchy out of America and France. Working people fought Germany and Japan. Working people will prevail if they remember that they created the wealth and take democratic steps, which includes free assembly and the right to strike, to protect the right to a say on how it is spent.

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

OCCUPY JEREMY CLARKSON' S BRAIN

2011-12-01T04:55:00.001-08:00

And occupy Jeremy Clarkson's mouth as well...how the BBC has not fired this jackass I cannot fathom...if a Muslim said all TV presenters should be taken out and shot they'd be in jail...but Jeremy, David Cameron's neighbour and best friend is not alone among top earners in Little Britain...which has deflecting the economic debate away from greedy, thieving bankers and onto profligate, democratic governments...and somehow they are now suggesting that working people deserve to have a 10% fall in real income and a 60% loss in savings because they didn't work hard enough. Can this be right?

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

.

GOODBYE KEN RUSSELL

2011-11-29T05:45:00.001-08:00

Ken was a great film-maker. The Music Lovers, the finest bending of music and image ever achieved in cinema or video, and Women in Love would stand as testament to a life worth living if had done nothing more. We come and go. We stand and fall. What we leave behind marks the path we followed.

Gray Dourman

http://www.amazon.com/A-CASE-IN-POINT-ebook/dp/B006BYDLYG/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1322056364&sr=1-5

WALK INTO THE LIGHT

2011-11-25T03:29:00.001-08:00

It is a source of great pride among many English historians that English companies were in the vanguard of developing and protecting the well being and rights of its workers. It is one of many reasons that this country is so wonderful. It is what made it so livable and wealthy. Wealth and prosperity are spurred by exploiting creativity and opportunity. We never know who will discover what, where and what they will apply it to. England and America were the early adapters of these liberal ideas. Whenever conservatives attempted to confine the ability to generate wealth to a small sector of the society, it has gone terribly wrong. It happened in America in the 50s and 2000s and in England in the 70s and 80s and is threatening to happen again.

It seems to me that too many brilliant and well meaning people have been involved in the development of the Euro for it to be tossed away as 'bull'. Just because it is being attacked doesn't mean that it will fall. Sports and markets show us many examples of how persistence in the face of what appears to be insurmountable odds bring victory. This is my hope for the Euro.

The sun is shining and it is warm here. The light is dazzling as I sip dark coffee from my steaming cup.

Gray Dourman

http://www.amazon.com/A-CASE-IN-POINT-ebook/dp/B006BYDLYG/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1322056364&sr=1-5

OCCUPY EUROPE!

2011-11-24T05:29:00.001-08:00

Is it credible that UK goods could compete in markets where there is a marked difference in the cost of production because of disparities in wages and working conditions? Would we want to run down the living standards of democratically supported working people in developed economies or would we rather raise those standards in less developed economies with non-democratic regimes? Does it comfort you to watch wealth migrate to the wealthy from the working?

We must have large and well regulated markets wherein we can trade without damaging ourselves and others. The Eurozone and North America are two such markets. Break up the Eurozone and you break up our largest and most secure market. Break it up why? Because they sought to standardise how much meat should be contained in what they call a sausage? Let's expand good practice to the Far East and Latin America and ultimately Africa and the Middle East. Let's not cave in to for example that Singapore asshole who lectured Jeremy Paxman on how Europeans don't work hard enough. Yes let's go back to work shall we! I'd love a job punching rivets for pennies a day and no entitlements so that jackass can prosper.

Gray Dourman

You can buy my book at ....

http://www.amazon.com/A-CASE-IN-POINT-ebook/dp/B006BYDLYG/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1322056364&sr=1-5

OCCUPY...THE CENTRE GROUND

2011-11-22T04:32:00.001-08:00

My recent endorsement of UKIP's Farage's European Parliament speech has caused a lot of confusion amongst friends and followers. I am not turning Eurosceptic. I remain a committed non-nationalist. I steadfastly support the idea of a global currency and financial system, removing all borders and tariffs and extending benefits, entitlements and social and medical support to everyone in the world. While Mr. Farage is correct in his observations regarding the market led non democratic actions of the non-elected Commission (although they would say they were appointed by democratically elected representatives) his solution of withdrawing from engagement in Europe, is demonstrably incorrect. Perhaps the reason why Germany is dominating Euro politics at the moment is precisely because the UK did not join the single currency. We are all human. Our destiny is collective. The righteous must speak out against selfish and defend the evolution of liberty, freedom of speech and the right to disagree.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

OCCUPY "THE CONSPIRACY"

2011-11-10T05:38:00.000-08:00

Is it possible that there is a conspiracy, well perhaps a loose collective intention, by a significant element of right wing conservatives in the international bond market to pressure sovereign governments into privatising assets which would then fall into the hands of right wing conservatives? Insisting that technocrats decide policy, particularly policy associated with the disposal of public assets, rather than democratically elected officials is a dangerous and unhealthy development in the evolution of the European debt paradigm. The argument that technocrats know more and understand the situation better does not wash. Technocrats created the credit crunch in the first place. Now they want to profit from it. We elected our politicians and we can replace them. We did not elect the technocrats and we cannot replace them. We must be vigilant. I do not want my children to have to fight to reclaim what was stolen from them by banks subsidised by my taxes.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

OCCUPY YOUR OWN IMAGINATION....

2011-11-08T09:10:00.000-08:00

There are few things in this life more frustrating than working with others, particularly musicians, but one of them is definitely working on your own. All you hear are the echoes of your own mistakes. We are not designed to live in isolation, locked away from the working world. The life of the rich becomes distorted because they do not see that they are linked and at one with the rest of us. Their vain attempts at charity do nothing but increase their isolation through pity. Let's take away their wealth once every ten years. Let's say every ten years everyone's assets must be returned to the community. Hey, hey, wadda ya say!

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

OCCUPY SINGAPORE

2011-11-04T06:29:00.000-07:00

Good on you George the Greek for hanging on...I just hope someone can find something other to say than Italy's the problem...apparently Europe has enough money to bail itself out but wants someone else to risk the cash...and to hear Singapore, about the most undemocratic place I've ever visited lecturing Europe on getting it's house in order by repealing social and labour laws is very revealing regarding what the real agenda is...

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

OCCUPY CANNES...

2011-11-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

I see the muscle has kicked in, Papendreou is about to resign. This is a sorry mess for all of us and no victory for Merkozy. Not that you would know it by the smug look they sported as they glued their heads together with Obama and Cameron. Too much power, concentrated in one place with too much common interest for my liking. Jolly interesting story though...

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

OCCUPY GREECE...

2011-11-01T09:12:00.000-07:00

Hurray to Greece for waking up to the old adage, act in haste, regret in leisure. The idea of a referendum is absolutely right. May I go so far as to say that it is possible that this was all cooked up together last week and no surprise to either France or Germany...It buys time...It keeps the "markets" from setting the agenda...after all who are the markets...sure pension funds and savings...whose savings...and who are speaking for those savers...investment managers who have not covered themselves glory thus far when it comes to serving the public good...There is no rush. Let's see how it all pans out. Certainly debt is too high...let's make sure everyone knows it...but let's not panic everyone into paying up tomorrow...when we could just as easily pay up thirty years from now...what difference does 29 years and six months make to the affairs of man.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

OCCUPY IMF

2011-10-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

Every time is see Christine LeGarde moving among the European leaders I am reminded of the time the IMF bailed out Indonesia so that the American banks could demand repayment of loans they had pumped into South East Asia to create the bubble in the first place leaving innocent taxpayers and the bewildered population to repay the debt to the IMF...then the American banks took the money and pumped it into the U.S. housing market to create another bubble...then took TARP and other funds and pumped them into European Sovereign debt...are we seeing the pattern Noam Chomsky identified when he said..."all efforts to try to centralise power in a world economic system geared towards insulating that policy is insulated from politics...ensuring that the general population of the world have no role in decision making and that the level of policy planning is raised to be so remote from people's knowledge and understanding and input that they have absolutely no idea about the various decisions that are being made that will affect their lives and certainly couldn't influence them if they did."...Politics give voice to the people who must live with the consequences of political decisions...who is it that is demanding decisions be made "now"....not politicians...at least not the politicians involved in the Eurozone debt debate...but the market...who trusts the markets...not me.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

EUROZONE:DEMOCRACY AND MEASURE

2011-10-20T02:52:00.000-07:00

Get on with it...be decisive...fix it now! Well all you market jackass traders, there is no rush. It isn't your money on the table....it's ours...it belongs to all the people of the world. Wealth was created out of the resources of the earth and that earth belongs to all people. This lie you repeat over and over, that you, the investment and asset managers are acting on behalf of your shareholders is a heinous misrepresentation. You act on behalf of the world you inhabit and the world your children will inhabit. Europe must have time to resolve its issues democratically, in consultation with all its constituents. The investment community is acting like a mob at the doors of the central banks...calling for its bread. Act in haste...repent in leisure.

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

OCCUPY WHAT BELONGS TO ALL OF US…

2011-10-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

Two pictures. Twostories. Who says the occupy protestsare vagabonds with no discernable objective? A media centre and legal advice amid the tents and canteens indicate amodicum of organisation. They have amessage. Clearly stated in the onlybanner of any size right in front of the grand columned portico and entrance toan important shrine to tolerance and charity.

Huh, how come there aren’t a lotof competing and confusing messages? These are anarchists aren’t they? I accept that maybe many are acting on pure instinct. They know something is wrong but don’t knowexactly what. Arab springish sort ofthing. Sure some of it is social. Looked like a lot of fun to me.

Whatever the discomfort andconfusion…here is one lucid quote…

“Why is the Bank of Englandspending billions buying bad assets from banks so that bankers can decide whichbusinesses and individual to support through loans whereas if the governmentdistributed those billions to individuals through entitlements and sociallypositive programmes such as education or recreation, the people could thenspend the money and thereby decide what businesses to support. Bankers would then have a better handle onwhat businesses are likely to be a good bet to repay credit and those which arenot.”

Many years ago, well not so many,early 90s, the government of the day privatised a savings bank called TSB. They raised several billion. The privatised TSB bought an investment bankcalled Hill Samuel and gave them more than a billion to loan tobusinesses. Many bankers andbusinessmen got rich. Almost none ofthe money was ever paid back. I knowsomething of bankers and trust them very little.

I believe social upheaval is goodfor people and good for the economy. Chaos and reorganisation creates opportunity, repression and the statusquo limit it.

DARK MATTER AND DARK FLOW

2011-10-07T02:08:00.000-07:00

Bhuddists will be delighted that cosmologists have definitively, scientifically proved the universe is made up mostly of nothing. The Bhudda told us that many centuries ago.

OCCUPY WALL STREET AGAIN !!

2011-10-07T02:04:00.000-07:00

And what about this hair brained idea of giving the banks more money to lending through quantitative easing and credit easing rather than giving directly to people through benefits. It is the implementation of ideology over common sense. It gives money to business to provide goods and services to customers that do not have the disposable income to acquire those goods and services. It seems that those who starved state run economies of resources until they starve to death cannot see the same thing happening to themselves. Is it ignorance or arrogance? Occupy Wall Street.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

OCCUPY WALL STREET

2011-10-04T02:52:00.000-07:00

There is a myth that hard work creates wealth. Not in my experience. Nepotism, fraud, the force of arms, especially when applied to the management of cheap labour, the manipulation of the state and many corrupting influences in the affairs of man create more wealth than all the applied endeavours of the educated middle classes put together. I fully support any movement that would promote a fairer distribution of wealth and opportunity and that would create a greater cohesion amongst all classes and cultures of people. The Occupy Wall Street Movement is the first signs of mobilisation of a movement that may takes us all further down the road to a state of human equality.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

ED MILLIBAND DESERVES A SERIOUS HEARING

2011-09-28T02:00:00.000-07:00

Ed Milliband's speech to Labour conference yesterday was a demonstration that politics can be about ideas as well as budgets and policies. It was refreshing to hear a speech that talked more about how he thinks rather than what he wants to do. If he ever has the power to act, those actions will be informed by how he thinks and feels. He is a passionate and reasonable man. His unfortunate appearance should not be a barrier to his effectiveness as a politician but I wish he was right about Cameron being the last gasp of the old order, but I'm rather afraid he is being overoptimistic. As long as the greedy, upper middle class continue to manufacture new members through the totally out of touch independent school sector they will continue to disadvantage those classes of people, working, immigrant, poor, who they feel clutter their pristine world of smug self congratulation.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

THE TROUBLE WITH COURAGE

2011-09-19T08:08:00.000-07:00

There comes a time when one must decipher the difference between admitting that however much effort is invested in an endeavour, the outcome is unlikely to be successful and the adage that winners never quit. And here is the rub, both can be perceived as foolish. Who wants to be taken for the fool? Why would anyone beat a dead horse? But there it is...the unlikeliest heroes emerge from the muck and blood of the battlefield to raise the flag of victory and transform the dynamic of many lives...for the better...and better the fool than the dead...the dead of spirit...the dead of intellect...the dead of compassion and inspiration...

I see the end and the end is....

MORE ON ADAM CURTIS AND LOVING MACHINES

2011-05-31T09:07:00.000-07:00

Having just viewed the second instalment of Adam Curtis's wonderful film All Watched Over By Loving Machines...I am more convinced than ever that this man's research and viewpoint bears attention. Much of what he illustrates and discusses has been central to my life and times not to mention uppermost in my mind. I always wondered why people's instinctive behaviour consistently contradicted best advice and that the very effort of following best advice usually negated the intention of the advice in the first place. I am of the view that the instinctive behaviour of the species is best suited to its survival. If we had been controlled and careful regarding the environment we'd all be living like the Amish. It is our instinct to consume, to assert our dominance over others, to pollute, to destroy, to question, to build, to believe, to celebrate and to die while others live on.

Best
Gray

Adam Curtis Genius Film Maker and Social Commentator

2011-05-25T09:42:00.000-07:00

I saw Watched Over by Loving Machines the other night and I cannot get it out of my mind. I am over sixty. I worked for more than twenty five years in the Financial Services industry in the City of London and before that I was a journalist. I am not stupid or naive and I read and watch financial and geopolitical news incessantly. Adam Curtis demonstrated to me that I am however, ignorant. His ability to tie together difficult to connect events is astounding and though I am yet to be convinced his proposition is correct, he has set me on a path of inquiry that is all at once entertaining, educational and enlightening. I am grateful to this extraordinary man.

COME NOW COME CLEAN...IT'S ASSASSINATION AND REGIME CHANGE...

2011-03-21T03:17:00.000-07:00

This is a hard time. So many world issues, so many domestic troubles. So much confusion, so little clarity. I try explaining, even to myself, how the establishment of a no fly zone over Libya isn't colonial patronage or regime change. I thought we understood how to handle issues of emerging democracy differently. How will Chavez in Venezuela explain America's 112 Tomahawk missiles on Tripoli as a peacekeeping action? How is this protecting Libyian civilians? What, there is no chance 112 missiles will hit a civilian? Oh I see, the only civilians we have to protect are the anti Gadaffi civilians. Pro Gadaffis don't count.

This action is regime change and attempted assassination both specifically forbidden by U.S. law. He will say don't believe America and many who have no reason to love America will believe him. Nobody believes that France and the U.K. are anything but American stooges complying with Washington in order to make up for past slights. Opposition to the invasion of Iraq and the premature withdrawal from Basra as being two to the most obvious. How can we be engaged in military adventures all over the Arab world and be surprised that much of the world sees Nato as an instrument of American imperial aspirations. I'm confused.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

2011-02-21T02:00:00.000-08:00

KINGS WHO NEEDS THEM

The idea that we need a figurehead, a monarchy, however benign and well meaning is outdated. People do not need to be told what to do. They know. However unpredictable the outcome of their actions may be, humanity belongs to all of us and all of us have a part to play in its destiny. The overwhelming desire to take to the streets is not some anomaly in human behaviour. It is the legitimate and instinctive wisdom of individual members of the species to influence the direction and destiny of the human story. Where once kings were made, now they can be unmade. What does it tell the world that Britain, a modern democratic state, still bows to a monarch. Before very long, Britain will be the backward country, overtaken by history and the compulsion of ordinary people to have a voice in how they live and what they think.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

WE ARE WHO WE ARE...

2011-02-08T02:51:00.000-08:00

This is an old picture of Port William in Wigtownshire, a little seaside village, in the South West corner of Scotland, near Newton Stewart, near Wigtown, where Christianity is thought to have landed in Britain from Ireland, near where they drowned the Covenentor martyr, Margaret Wilson. If you arrived there this afternoon you would find it little changed. It has internet access and the cars are up to date, but everything else, has remained about the same throughout the three hundred years the generations of my family have walked along the walked along the seawall and pulled their coats around their chests to protect themselves against the fierce, cold winds that blow across Luce Bay.

Why?

When somewhere or someone discovers their essential nature and likes it, they see little need to change. Change is usually forced on us from without rather than within. Some of that change helps us to grow and prosper. Some of it destroys the past we know and understand.

Let us not therefore decry meddling...we are all in this together...the world belongs to all of us.

Speak up for the democratic movement. Speak up for the people of the streets no matter where in the world those streets run.

Speak up.

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

THE MESOPOTAMIAN MARSHES ...A CALL IN THE WILD

2011-01-19T01:26:00.000-08:00

The project underway to reclaim the Mesopotamian Marshes in southern Iraq must be among the most important expressions of human optimism in history. These glorious wetlands destroyed by Saddam in the craziness of the 90s spurred on by the war on his own people and Iran are certainly deserving of our attention and care. They are an essential refuge for birds, fish, amphibians and people. They are a precious world resource. in time these wetlands will be among the greatest natural attractions for ecotourism in existence, a treasure for all of us and an incentive for stability among the Iraqis who are due for a break.

I implore you to join Nature Iraq

http://www.natureiraq.org/site/en/node/26

WHY CANADA IS NOWHERE...

2010-11-30T02:30:00.001-08:00

I grew up looking down this road. Literally. When I found out where it went. I was disappointed. So I turned around and went back to where I came from. But I couldn't stay.

Call it cabin fever, I call it the unmitigating boredom of rocks, trees and grass that never change. The tyranny of seasons that come and go with mind numbing predictability. Of the same birds that turn up every year and sing the same songs. It is the oppressive influence of the landscape that sculpts the Canadian character. Pedantic, predictable, purist.

The city at the end of this road was not much better than nowheresville I came from. It was the same only with more Canadians. I did not find what I was looking for until I left Canada for good. It took me a few attempts but I finally made it. Now I revel in the complex metropolis that is Europe.

Fly you fat ducks. There are people out there and people who are worth knowing.

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

2010-11-24T01:50:00.000-08:00

THE ELEGANCE OF UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCE

I recently treated a friend very badly, very badly indeed. I did not intend the insult. It was an unconcious action to provocation and I immediately regretted it. She no longer speaks to me.

It was not until this happened that I understood how negative the relationship had become. How many times we trawled the same old grievances, the same old stories, told the same old jokes, found the same old faults. We had become so inflexible in our dealings with each other, so ritualistic in our manners, so conscious of our debts to each other that the relationship had become a millstone, a hinderance to even a peaceful life, let alone a progressive one. I did not realise this at the time. It was not until the space and distance had been created that I saw that far from regret, my overriding emotion should have been relief.

Old friends can be a comfort. They can anchor us to normality and can point out changes in ourselves that we cannot see in the mirror or less familiar friends would understand or even feel entitled to point out. But old friends tend not to change with us or like us to change at all and prefer to keep us as they understand us so that they can predict our behaviour and manage us accordingly.

It is tough and confusing to loose old friends. Familiarity is comforting. But there is a freedom in moving on and an exilaration in those first few hours of open road ahead. A buzz worth the price.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

Up William and Kate's royal arseholes...

2010-11-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

Royal crap...tourists come and get it...let's pretend that the royals are really cool...let's buy a mug with the picture of a mug embellished on it...so that stupid, deluded sycophants can pretend they are touching history...which is mostly made up....kick the queen out of all her castles and let her collect housing benefit like are the rest of the state dependents...there's no shame in it...the state is an industry...citizens are its customers...the Monarchy is no different.

Gray Dourman

http://www.magichelix.com/

2010-11-18T04:37:00.000-08:00

LOOKING INTO THE WILD BLUE...

I cannot think of anything more beautiful than the colour of the sky. I will tell you why. It is where you go when you die.

http://www.magichelix.com

CHINA:on our knees for new TVs...

2010-11-10T01:57:00.001-08:00

The posture, tone and statements made of David Cameron, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, in China over the past week demonstrate in no uncertain terms how low we must now bow to the God of consumerism. Volume. More TVs, more songs, more clothes, more cars, more...more...more...and to get more lets us enslave and trample the rights of millions. Let us relegate them to urban prisons, teach them to work endless hours for miserable remuneration, blight their lives with hopes that their children with live better lives than they. Let us sacrifice the principals that our fathers and mothers and their fathers and mothers fought for, died for, suffered for, so that we can buy yet another piece of plastic, another cashmere jumper, another fake Fender guitar. Come on lets do it. Better yet, lets take a crap job at subsistance wages so that those who are lucky enough to control sufficient capital now can take care of their children, send them to expensive independent schools where they can meet expensive friends whose families control capital and recommend that we bow to the totalitarians and keep our mouths shut so that we can buy just one more television to watch us bow and zip our lips one more time.

ONE AUTUMN DAY...

2010-10-25T01:58:00.000-07:00

ONE AUTUMN DAY

Waking up in the morning, stiff and groggy. Stayed up late in Europe watching football in America. The sun and blue, blue sky leak through my blinds. The everyday chores of an everyday life begin. More computers are installed. More screens. More programs.

I remember the woods. The silent woods of my youth. Where nothing happened. Where dew dripped from the branch above my head, slowly, like chinese water torture.

Outside my window a pneumatic drill breaks up the pavement. The city is living, breathing and growing. Faster than the forest. And the clouds contain the data that runs our lives.

http://www.magichelix.com/

2010-10-22T06:14:00.000-07:00

THE FUTILITY OF MEMORY...

We think in myths. Myths about ourselves, untruths, stories we tell ourselves that explain our feelings, our behaviour. Old photos contradict our versions of events. Letters we have written, the contents of which we now deny, are stained and shabby, evidence that we were once different people. There is nothing but now. Yet there are other worlds. Dreams that are like us, but not quite us. These dreams, these memories, tell us something, but what? We may interpret them to our convenience but they are not the truth and we know it. We know the truth about ourselves but fail to believe it. We would rather dwell in the dreams than live in the reality.

In Memory

2010-10-14T01:45:00.000-07:00

My mother recently passed away. She was nearly ninety years old. She was not a perfect woman but left behind a large legacy of healthy, reasonably happy and successful children and grandchildren. Life creating life. Joy replicating joy. Misery begetting misery. The world turns and mankind yearns.

IT'S THE GENRE STUPID....

2010-04-09T06:18:00.001-07:00

What's the point of trying to seduce a Chinese woman if you can't speak Chinese. I admit it can be done but it isn't easy. That's what I'm finding out here in cyberspace. You have to find kindred spirits if you want to be heard. In the physical world people are polite. They will listen to your prattle with a faint smile if you listen to theirs. In here you don't have that luxury. You have to find people who think and act like you. Is that a good thing? Not so sure. If we all hang out with like minds...where will that lead us?

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

THE TYRANNY OF PRIVILEGE

2010-03-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

The response of the Republicans to the passage of the health care bill is a disgrace. The outrageous language and misinformation emanating from spokespeople…i.e. compulsory health insurance is the first time any American government has demanded its citizens buy something. Try driving a car without insurance. This one small example of how once people get into a position of power and privilege they cannot let go of it without terrorising and oppressing the people waiting for their turn to enjoy the fruits of their labour. In the UK it is the independent school system sucking resources, good teachers and through their charitable tax status and network of alumni scholarships, the best and brightest emerging from the state primary system, leaving worthy, enthusiastic, valuable children to the mercy of less experienced but well meaning teachers and headmasters. The results is class divide inappropriate in a 21st century that has fought long and hard through the preceding centuries for equality and respect for the contribution each hard working, brave and dedicated citizen has made to everyone’s well being. The nurses, soldiers, refuse collectors, bus drivers….etc…make this world just as habitable as the corporate magnate, the lawyer, the banker. Yet who controls the wealth? Who gets to decide who gets a quality education, and therefore social position and opportunities for elevation? Those who have, those who control, those who would kill to keep. Hurray to Obama and his brave fight. Stand up, stand up for your rights. Start by removing charitable tax status from the independent school sector in the UK.
Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

JIHAD IN THE CITY

2010-03-18T08:17:00.001-07:00

Take young men,

Tell them of partition,

Of torture and tyranny,

Suffered by their ancestors,

When they lived in the colony.

Educated, strong and free,

Trap them in a place

Where they never see a friendly face,

Outside the family.

Send rockets, missiles and guns,

To slaughter their loved ones,

In the old countries beyond the sea.

Give them a voice,

Then fear what they say,

Give them a choice,

Then slight the God to whom they pray.

Jihad brothers lay down your arms.

Walk away.

Jihad sisters employ your charms.

Lets build bridges...Let's build a better day.

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

FREE MARKET VS THE PEOPLE

2010-03-17T06:34:00.000-07:00

Greece is just one illustration of the pervasive cynicism of greed. Not only the corruption and deceit engendered by tax evading freebooters but also the way banks have used money provided by beleaguered taxpayers to attack the very governments who provided them with the bailouts. Fraud at Lehmans, fraud in Milan, Madoff, shrugged off as just so much financial engineering. And what do these greed sated goofballs buy with their booty...yatchs, women, diamonds etc. etc. etc. Will they pass through the eye of the needle. I think not.

LIVING BODY, DEAD MIND

2010-03-10T07:51:00.000-08:00

I heard the news today. Alzheimers is on the ramage in America. Zombies walking around forgetting people's names, forgetting where they live, forgetting the life they led. Modern medicine keeps the body alive and the mind withers. What's the point. Wouldn't it be better not to prolong the physical beyond the ability of the mind to co-exist comfortably. It's a bit like a married couple where the wife, enamoured by plastic surgery becomes a living manniquin, while the husband lets nature takes its course. The Alzheimers victim become a stranger in their own bodies. Let nature take care of us.

Gray Dourman
http://www.magichelix.com/

ECHOES IN A VOID

2010-03-09T07:15:00.000-08:00

Out the mouth, no one is listening. What is to be said? Quiet the mind, but it is not dead. The voices babble inside the skull. The ideas whirl from brilliant to dull. The life has been lived, the money spent, the body abused, vessel empty and now the waiting begins. The life leaks away, carried away in the urine stream. What is left but reflection and regret? The creaking body rises from bed. Blindly hoping you'll be better off dead.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

CAN'T TEACH, WON'T BE TAUGHT

2010-03-08T05:39:00.000-08:00

There is always a point in someone's life when someone else tries to tell you how to do something. They call it teaching. It is as fundamental to the human character as eating or talking. It forms and perpetuates the culture an individual is born into. Cultural evolution and adaptation emerge from the process of teaching. We are what we were taught.

Put down those books and walk into the wilderness naked. Learn, but refuse to be taught.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

SPRING IN LONDON

2010-03-05T09:15:00.000-08:00

What should I do with the rest of my life?

Soak in the bath?

Argue with my wife?

What should I do with the rest of my day?

Sit in the park?

Watch the kids play?

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

2010-03-04T01:42:00.000-08:00

Years ago I was working with a rock band that was playing to about ten to fifteen people every night of the week. Fed up the bass player turned up his volume. The lead guitarist followed suit to prevent being drowned out. The drummer and the vocalist retaliated in kind. Two years later they were playing at ear splitting volume to adoring thousands. The more extreme the envornment, the more extreme the entertainment media becomes, the stimulated the audience, the louder, flashier, more fantastic, the more...the more....The voice of gentle reason is submerged and entertainment looks for thrills rather than education and enlightenment. Can we ever turn the volume back down?

MICHAEL WILL BE MISSED...

2010-03-03T05:45:00.001-08:00

Nothing much to say. Dreary in every way. Micheal Foot, a modern hero, died today.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

WHY BOTHER?

2010-03-02T03:14:00.001-08:00

You wake up and follow the routine. You move through the days toward the inevitable end. The colours change, a little. The faces are all different but all the same. So many style of shoe but they all have toes and heals. Life just drifts away, day by day by day. Watch it disappear, tear by tear by year.

www.magichelix.com

GREY HAIR IS POISON

2010-02-26T04:52:00.000-08:00

Look at it! It's all over me. My nuts have grown, my dick has shrunk! It's the hair! It's sucking the life out of me! Help!

www.myspace.com/ironandhorse

BE CAREFUL OR THEY'LL PUT YOU IN A HOME

2010-02-25T04:49:00.001-08:00

A Friend of mine read yesterday's blog and told me to be careful of ever expressing any rage after you get grey hair. They put angry people with grey hair in homes where they can remove it with medication. I have promised my wife and kids that I will never express any more anger. Even when my wife treats me like an idiot and when my kids treat me with disregard. I will be calm always. Better tranquility without medication where I can at least decide which TV I want to watch, than medicated tranquility where I can't move enough to change the music.

DEEP SADNESS, TOTAL IRRELEVANCE

2010-02-24T04:57:00.000-08:00

As one gets older one is torn in two ways. There is one side that is quieter, more resigned, less competitive. One the other is a rage that cannot be expressed. The rage of the grey heads is too ridiculous to merit serious consideration. It is a rage that smolders when people look through you like you are not there; don't listen to you because they think they've already heard what you have to say; use everything because they think you've already had your share.

RAINY DAY, NOWHERE TO PLAY

2010-02-23T08:15:00.000-08:00

A troubador with a toy guitar sits gazing at a far off star. He wonders when the words will come. He wants to let the feelings run. The days of youth are gone. The working days are through. He sits at home all day long with little or nothing to do. Age is cast aside like dried grass burnt by the sun. Clawed hands loose their grip. And memories from the mind slip. I am done. I am done.

Gray Dourman

www.magichelix.com

HANGING OUT

2010-02-22T04:50:00.000-08:00

A long time ago, in another land, I was well known, respected and in general, understood. Now I am a stranger, an alien, the originator of outlandish ideas that have no following whatsoever. Nobody comes to find out what I'm thinking or doing. I believe it is because my hair was black then and now it is grey. It seems to me hair colour is fundamental to image perception. Grey registers irrelevance, obstruction, senility. And who cares what senile old men think?

LOOKING FOR FOLLOWERS

2010-02-19T05:02:00.001-08:00

Stone grey sky,
Lonely women cry.
Their men have gone to war,
Their men have gone to die.
On the shingled shore,
Frozen to the core,
They've heard the lie before.
They won't hear it anymore.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

ONE VIEW OF CREATION

2010-02-18T01:57:00.000-08:00

God plundered man to make his mate,

A woman with whom he could fornicate.

Woman plundered man for all he had,

And he let her do it,

Cause it wasn't half bad.

Gray Dourman

http://www.magichelix.com/

ONE MORNING, TWO EMOTIONS

2010-02-17T01:31:00.000-08:00

Dark waters ripple beneath the bridge and bounce the morning light back into my eyes. I know the water is cold and the current runs too swiftly to swim against. Yet I feel strangely compelled to plunge into it, to let its force carry me away to whatever shore chance make take me. I grip the railing. My knuckles turn white. I want to vault into the crisp winter morning and yet I trudge on like the hollow men. The city smokes on the other side of the river and I am resigned to inhaling its poison. My only reward, fine wine, gorgeous food and beautiful women.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

WHAT'S WORTH KNOWING?

2010-02-16T07:41:00.000-08:00

I'm not the parent of a severly disabled child. My son is not a drug addict (yet). My wife is not a transvestite. So what do I have to say that's worth publishing? What do I know that most everyone else doesn't. I've travelled ( a lot). I've been rich. I've been poor. Been published. Had my paintings hung. My songs recorded. So what? Worked in a big bank, busted rock in a quarry. What have I learned? What can I share? Who's out there...anywhere? I've always been compelled to write. Some of it is even worth reading. Some of it was evidently worth buying. But like the real world, most of it is just air. My endeavour is keep on digging until I find something worth knowing. Thanks for joining me.

COLLATERAL DAMAGE

2010-02-15T01:26:00.000-08:00

There are times when the news of collateral damage deeply disturbs but are there really any innocent bystanders. Are not we all participants in the emerging events of life? Can we stand by and watch as war rages, babies are born, markets collapse, daughters are married and not be touched, not be moved, not be frightened. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. Ask not does it toll for thee. We are not alone. What happens to you. Happens to me.

Gray Dourman

WWW.MAGICHELIX.COM

Foreigner

2010-02-12T05:35:00.000-08:00

Last night watching an old episode of Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show I saw an old band called Foreigner. They were big in the late 70's early 80's. I was shocked and confused. Where was the dignity? Some Steve Tyler look alike prancing around like a withered dildo in tight red trousers wobbling his booty rather than shaking it. If we deserved respect, we have to act like we merit it. Pandering for praise, mutton dressed up like lamb, the computer based audio enhancement, the pancake make up, the tinted glasses to hide the wrinkles is laughing in father time's face and father time has served us too well for too long to treat him with such disregard.

SNOW

2010-02-11T07:47:00.000-08:00

The splendid Autumn days are gone,

Replaced by Winter's frozen dawn.

Gone is the starry night

And I see

My hair has turned snowy white.

The path I followed had disappeared,

It did not lead where I feared.

For I find myself,

In a familiar place.

While my eyes reside,

In a stranger's face.

Gray Dourman

http://www.magichelix.com/

The Rise and Rise of the Military

2010-02-10T06:59:00.000-08:00

Again. It's happening all over again. Everything is about dead soldiers. Soldiers who died protecting me. I heard it as a kid when there was fighting in Korea. I heard it when they asked me to go to Viet Nam. I heard it when they were beefing over the Falklands, Iraq...etc. etc. etc....I didn't believe it then and I don't believe it now. Support the side you believe in by all means, but keep out...troops on foreign soil...it's colonialism by any name...Millions to Haiti...Billions to kill a few religious zealots...doesn't add up to me

I left cyberspace and now I'm back. ...

2010-02-09T04:56:00.001-08:00

I left cyberspace and now I'm back. Two things brought me back. The first was the embarrassment I felt watching The Who perform at the Super Bowl. Two electronically supported old codgers hacking away, out of tune, out of time, out of ideas. Retire gracefully, I plead. To everything there is a season. Don't buy into that utterly narcissistic idea that you're only as old as you feel. That's quite clearly dillusional as demonstrated here.

The second experience was also media, BBC's The Virtual Revolution. The good doctor who writes and presents this profound, thought provoking, visually beautiful television, has opened my sleepy eyes and inspired me to think again. I am updating my .com, rejuventating my myspace and starting a facebook. I don't know where I'm going, but I'll let you know when I get there.

Best

Gray

CHICKS, CARS AND GUITARS

2009-05-07T02:22:00.001-07:00

CHICKS, CARS AND GUITARS
ROCK AND ROLL ON THE ROAD
HEAR IRON HORSE ON www.myspace.com/ironandhorse
"The French fuck with their face," Terry said wafting the thick marijuana smoke away from his eyes with an annoyed wave of his hand.

"Why," Moxie replied before taking another huge drag off the fat joint.

"Dunno," Terry said shaking his head. "Where I grew up they always said that. I always thought you could get pregnant by kissing because everybody used to say the French fuck with their face and the French always had lots of kids."

"Where was that?"

"Where was what?"

"Where'd you grow up?"

"Oh Montreal. Just outside of Montreal."

"Montreal! That's all the fucking way on the other side of the world ain't it? How the fuck did you end up here?"

"Would you two shut the fuck up..." Johnnie, the drummer, groaned from where he was lying across the seats behind them.

"What's wrong with him," Terry said sliding down into his seat to make himself as small and inconspicuous as possible.

"Fucking piles," Moxie grunted. "Started out the tour as hemorrhoids but we've been on the road so long they've turned into piles. Not good for a drummer, but they make him mean. A mean drummer is no bad thing for a rock and roll band."

"He sure was hot last night," Terry said trying to sound more knowing than his 17 year old voice had a right to sound.

"He was the fuckin' dog's fuckin' bollocks," volunteered a short, fat, long haired, fully bearded Ginger, his breath stinking of whiskey and dope. "The rest of you were all fuckin' shite. When I was gigging with The Who it was everbody together. This is rock and roll. You don't let one bloke carry the whole fuckin' gig."

"Hey, ahole, the only thing you need to worry about carrying is the equipment so keep your mouth shut," Moxie glared at Ginger. "If not we'll get the kid here to join us permanent."

"How long you goin' to be hangin' onto us?" Ginger asked, glaring down on Terry.

"Dunno," said Terry trying to scrunch down even lower in his seat, thinking Ginger's fierce eyes were made even more threatening by the wreckage that was the rest of his face, a broken nose and a long jagged scar that broke up the part of the right cheek that was not obscured by his scraggly beard.

"None of your fucking business," said Moxie coming to Terry's rescue. " He stays as long as he wants to. Now go give Kaz his fucking shot before he starts playing that fucking axe again."

"Man, he's real friendly isn't he?" Terry ventured as Ginger turned away and squeezed his fat belly down the aisle between the rows of seats in the half light of the bus.

"Don't mind Ginger," Moxie said rolling another joint. " He's here to move the equipment and arrange the dope and girls. English. Says he came over on The Who tour and stayed. Herman's Hermits more like it. Who knows, who cares, nobody asks too many questions with us."

"Sorry," said Terry. "I really appreciate you letting me hang out with you guys."

"No problem. Never met a Canadian before. What's the dope like where you come from?"
Suddenly the first rays of the sunrise broke over the Arizona landscape. The oranges and reds of the desert flooded into the bus and Terry had to protect his eyes.

"Far out man," Michael, the black bass player said, his huge bushy afro pressed against the window. "Check this out."

Everybody rushed to the window to see what Michael had discovered and Terry stood up on the seat to peer through their heads. When he saw what they were looking at, he gulped hard. A cherry red, soft top Corvette was cruising alongside the bus. In the passenger side a leggy blonde stretched back with her head resting langorously on the back of the seat, her shirt open, her full, exquisitely shaped breasts exposed. The equally pretty brunette in the drivers seat grinned up at the faces plastered against the window, put her foot on the accelerator and sped away.

"Shit man," Michael said flopping back into his hard seat looking up at Terry who was still standing looking out the window even though the astonishing vision which he had witnessed was long gone. "That's the shit for me. Just like Ike Turner. Music and pussy. Sorry, music, pussy and dope. Hey kid. You got a sister? Wouldn't mind some nice, sweet smellin' white pussy right about now."

"Leave him be," Moxie again interjected himself between himself and the rest of the band, pushing Terry back down beside the window.

"How long have you guys been on tour?" Terry asked Moxie who had parked the long joint he had rolled up behind his ear.

" Just over two years now," Moxie replied absently. "We can't seem to get far enough ahead to get off the road. We do a gig. Cover costs, but don't make enough to stop gigging. We've got a single at number 42 in the Billboard 100. Who knows maybe it'll make us enough to get my old lady back. She's given up on me. Moved this other dude in. An insurance salesman or some fucking thing. Guess it's good for my kids. He buys them shit like books and things. Guess I never was going to be much of a father. Wasn't any more than a kid myself when they were born. It was never any choice for me when it came to making my mind up between a straight gig or music. Never had a straight gig in my life. Started doing weddings and shit with my father when I was eleven. He used to do Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin routines. Fuck it's a wonder I keep playing."

"Two years, in this bus, fuck," Terry gasped.

"Ain't that bad once you get used to it."

"No, sorry, I didn't mean...well you know."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, " Moxie said with a wry grin. " I say it all the time but I can't stop. Don't know anything else anymore. Wouldn't know what to do if this bus ever stopped for more than a day in any one place."

"I'm going to be like that. Stay on the road. Like the Cassidy character in On the Road. You just stand by the highway, stick out your thumb and go where the ride takes you."

"Is that how you ended up here?"

Terry nodded, stayed quiet for a moment, then said, "My dad left long time ago. Said he was going to Vancouver to find a job. Never sent for us. When I got old enough stuck out my thumb and went looking for him. Never found him."

"What about your Mom?"

"She worries. Called her once. She started crying. I hung up. Nothing I can do about crying."

"Hey fuck me man!" Michael yelped suddenly. "Pull the fucking bus over man. There's the chicks!"

They all looked at where he was pointing. A few hundred feet ahead was a small gas station, and in the forecourt was the cherry red Corvette.

The sad old bus driver looked over his shoulder at a well groomed man with a small moustache and sun glasses. The well groomed man nodded and the driver clicked the indicator and steered the bus up to the gasoline pumps next to the Corvette.

Terry heard the hiss of the bus doors and watched Michael lope down the aisle and leap down the stairwell. The driver slumped down the stairs after him and instructed the attendant on where to find the gas tank.

The small man in the sun glasses stood up and said, "Listen we've got to be in Tuscon early enough to get some sleep before the gig tonight. So stay the fuck on the bus! I'm just going to make a few phone calls. Stay on the bus and stay out of sight. This is cracker country. They don't like hippies around here. Lynch 'em when they can. Moxie! Keep the kid out of sight. Don't know what the fuck he's doing here anyway. Don't know who he is. Probably a fucking underage runaway. Don't know what you want with him. Get the fuck rid of him when we get to Tuscon."

"He stays as long as he wants!" Moxie stood up suddenly. "If you don't fucking like it you can find another fucking singer! And when you're on the fucking phone, find out where Up For Breakfast is on the charts. Number 42 asshole. You took the money. You get it into the top ten or your the one who hits the pavement! Got it, you big prick!"

The man in the sunglasses smirked and stepped down the stairwell and walked past Michael who was helping the chicks out of the Corvette.

Moxie slumped back into the seat next to Terry.

"Fucking managers," Moxie said taking the joint out from behind his ear, lighting it then handing it to Terry.

Terry took a long drag on the sweet smelling marijuana. He and Moxie passed the joint back and forth between them silently. Moxie put his hand on Terry's leg just above the knee and squeezed it reassuringly.

"You're on the road man. You go where you want, when you want."

"I go where somebody wants to take me, when they are willing to take me," Terry said handing the joint back to Moxie as Michael pushed the two girls up the stairwell into the bus.

"Brothers," Michael announced. " Meet Heather and Sandra! They've heard of us! Seems like Up For Breakfast is number one in the charts!"

"You're shitting me!" Johnnie the drummer said rolling off this seat and crashing to the floor.
Under Terry's window the gas station attendant left the nozzle of the pump in place, clicked the automatic lever and walked down to the front of the bus to see what all fuss was about.

"I ain't shitting you! They say Up For Breakfast by Iron Horse is number one in America," Terry heard Michael crow. Moxie handed Terry the last part of the roach and jumped up to hug Ginger.

Kaz looked at Terry from under his hat with a dazed expression and said, "Far out man."

Feeling a little embarrassed and out of it, Terry glanced out the window and saw a Highway Patrol cruiser creep into station.

"Shit," he said, looking hopelessly to Moxie for guidance but Moxie and the rest of Iron Horse were leaping about whooping and hugging and punching the air.

Terry saw the gas station attendant run back and pull the nozzle of the pump out of the gas tank. Fuel spurted everywhere and the smell flooded through Terry's open window.

Two officers stepped quietly out of the patrol car. Terry opened his mouth to shout a warning but before he could, he was distracted by the small man in the sun glasses who halfway through the door, backed up into the station shop. When Terry looked back it was too late, one of the officers had already boarded the bus.

"Fuck," Terry said looking at the smoldering roach still in his hand. He flicked it out the window.
Moxie was the first to see the orange, blue and yellow flame that licked up around the bus, but Terry was the first to hear the explosion. The next thing he felt was all the air being sucked out of his lungs and the last thing he heard was someone say, not far away, "Fuck!"

Gray Dourman

WWW.MAGICHELIX.COM

Anatomy of Anatomy

2009-05-06T02:10:00.000-07:00

The intelligent design in anatomy:-
structure is to function what function is to purpose
a steady state of metabolism powers the structures that support function
each body part has a function (ie a purpose)
purpose is the result of design
design results in the order, organization, and integration of an anatomy that functions
an anatomy that functions is the result of design.

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

Need the money

2009-05-05T04:20:00.000-07:00

The intelligent design of communicating requirements:-
need the money
find the money
get the money
invest the money

Gray Dourman
www.magichelix.com

The reason of reason

2009-05-03T04:19:00.000-07:00

The intelligent design of reason:-
the ability to analyze and react to changing circumstances is evidence of intelligence
the survival and adaptation of living species to changing environmental influences is evidence of intelligence
therefore all living things have intelligence including viruses and bacteria, even though they do not appear to have a brain
therefore is possible, the intelligence resides not in the brain, but in the DNA
because DNA is common to all living species.

Uno Mars
www.magichelix.com

2009-05-01T02:48:00.001-07:00

The intelligent design of deteriorating relationships:-
if you think it will last forever, it won't
if you think it won't hurt when the rot set in, it will
if you think you can stop the rot with talk, you can't
if you think you can live with the pain of losing something you value, you can.

Gray Dourman
www.myspace.com/ironandhorse

Brothers of the Blood

2009-04-29T23:27:00.000-07:00

We may have come from the farther shore,
We may ask for too much and then for more.
But we too have emerged from the mud,
We too are brothers of the blood.

Uno Mars
www.magichelix.com

Change of description....

2009-04-29T10:54:00.000-07:00

My apologies, I didn't realise the reference to mature man who include so many connections to "mature" ie porn sites. If it's porn you're looking for, no need to hang around here any more. I want to talk about the experience of experience. How it affects us. How we face the idea that we've had just about all we're going to get and we aren't going to get much more.

Living with a mature man......

2009-04-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

Baby Boomers...

Born after a big war. Born into a mess. Leaving behind a bigger mess. Grey hair, fat, low libido, looking for meaning, travelled, married, divorced, kids, married again, drink, drugs, looking for meaning, afraid that after this, there is no more, gotta work, nowhere to go, nothing to do....and yet....